Epic FAIL

This post will discuss an epic, epic fail that Whole Foods has committed; it's a post to express my disappointment and dissent with what used to be one of my most beloved sweet purveyors.

After a semi-satisfying run (er jog...tepid jog? walk/jog? wajog?) on Townlake, I was ready to reconsume all the calories I had just burned (and apparently many more...really, it was not my greatest run). I headed over to Whole Foods, hankering for one of their cookies that they advertise as being "all natural." Standing in front of their bakery case, staring at all of the amazing confectioneries in front of me, I also made sure to pour over the ingredients of the items, as I customarily do. Most of the beautifully displayed items had 'sugar' listed as one of their primary ingredients. For the past however many years that I have been a faithful patron of our hometown grocery hero, I always assumed the bakery items were made with sugar in the raw, pure cane sugar, succanat, turbinado or evaporated cane juice, all of which are natural sweeteners that only alter ones glycemic index innocuously (particularly when compared to the dietary Satan that is refined sugar). Yesterday, I had a sneaking suspicion that my sneaking suspicion that Whole Foods uses one of these natural sweeteners might not be entirely accurate.

So, I did what any crazy obnoxious consumer would. I inquired as much with a employee of the bakery section. Keep in mind, I poised my inquiry rather gingerly, because the mere thought of Whole Foods using refined sugar seemed ludicrous. The employee (we'll call him Englestein) said "I would think we use sugar in the raw or evaporated cane juice, but let me double check." I of course complied, and began to feel rather silly for asking what was surely an overly-paranoid question. As I waited for Englestein, I resumed my visual lovemaking to the bakery items, even entertaining the thought of purchasing two. After about ten minutes, a felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Englestein, sporting a quizzical look. He said he spoke to several people in the bakery section, who informed him that the sweetener used in the bakery items was indeed refined sugar.

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. The room was a spinning pastiche of cookies, fruit kolaches, hipster and yuppy WF regulars, and teeny mutant packets of refined sugar. That were pointing and laughing. The horror. I felt surprised, angry and confused at the same time.

Now, for those of you thinking "Um...its just cookies. Get a life," the thing you must understand is that this revelation further reduces the number of semi-healthy sweets for people with the same affliction as yours truly; namely, those of us who love, love, love sweet treats, but know that we can't realistically indulge every whim, and need to find healthy options in between indulgences (or risk being in a questionable physical state). Also, from a consumer point of view, Whole Foods' usage of refined sugar contradicts, in a significant way, their shtick of selling high-quality, all natural food that people dish out the monies for. There is nothing high-quality or natural about refined sugar.

Le sigh. That's the end of my rant. And of my days eating bakery items from Whole Foods sans guilt.